Finding The Balance

by Craig

(The Gender Centre advise that this article may not be current and as such certain content, including but not limited to persons, contact details and dates may not apply. Where legal authority or medical related matters are cited, responsibility lies with the reader to obtain the most current relevant legal authority and/or medical publication.)

Relaxation and meditation has become a popular way for people to "balance" and "centre" their lives. Many people find that regular meditation, relaxation and/or visualisation helps them to deal with day to day stresses and anxieties much more effectively. With the aid of affirmations people have found that they are able to improve their self-esteem, confidence, views and perceptions of the world around them. Affirmations have also helped people to improve their self-perceptions and ideas of how others perceive them.

You may find that if you make this time for yourself each day it will become a special time that you have given to yourself. Each day you give yourself relaxation, peace, healing, love and respect. This is more powerful than you may currently realise.

Follow the relaxation exercise on this page. These kinds of exercises are a good way to start meditating, visualising or using affirmations.

Relaxation Exercise

• Try to wear loose, comfortable clothing;
• Sit in an alert, upright position, hands gently resting in your lap with your palms open. If you need to, you can rest lightly against a wall or sofa. Don't lie down, you don't want to fall asleep;
• Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, allowing your shoulders to be loose and relaxed;
• Open your mouth wide. Yawn, or pretend you are yawning;
• Let the areas around your eyes and forehead be relaxed and loose. Let the areas around your nose, mouth and jaw be relaxed;
• Breathe slowly and easily;
• If ideas or feelings come into your mind at this time, pretend they are a noise in the distance, perhaps in a neighbours house. You acknowledge that "someone is calling" but you do not have to answer;
• Take a deep breath, inhaling gently and slowly through your nose. Hold the breath for a moment, then exhale slowly and comfortably through your nose. Concentrate on your breathing allowing it to be your main focus;
• Focus your attention on how your breath feels: cooling as it enters your nostrils, perhaps gently expanding your chest as it fills your lungs, then slightly warming your nostrils as you exhale. You may wish to visualise the air as having a beautiful, vibrant colour as it enters and exits your body;
• Repeat this breathing pattern until you have done at least four full cycles. A full cycle is one inhalation and one exhalation;
• With each cycle, focus your attention on one area of your body;
• Some people find it useful to start with the toes and slowly work their way up the body, focusing on each area one at a time:
  • Be aware of your lower legs relaxing;
  • Be aware of your knees relaxing;
  • Be aware of your thighs and buttocks relaxing;
  • Be aware of your abdomen relaxing;
  • Be aware of your lower back relaxing;
  • Be aware of your upper back relaxing;
  • Be aware of your chest relaxing.
• Now let your breathing pattern return to normal as you enjoy the relaxed state you have created;
• For several weeks, practice this relaxation exercise whenever the opportunity arises or whenever you feel a need to unwind and rest at work, at home or in your recreational life.

Affirmations

At the point when you have achieved a state of being completely relaxed you may wish to make a start on your affirmations. When you are completely relaxed you have an increased ability in accessing your subconscious mind where our pre-programmed "self-talk" comes from. You know that talk that says "I'm fat today", "nobody understands me", "I never know the right thing to say", "everybody's going to spring me today" etc? Well, imagine the power in changing this self-talk to build you up instead of tearing you down! People have come a very long way using affirmations.

Make up your own affirmations, you probably know where your strengths and weaknesses are, but remember to keep them short and simple, you don't want to get lost in a head trip. An affirmation can state anything you like, such as "I can achieve anything I'd like to" or "I am perfect exactly the way I am" or "people respect my opinions". Repeat your affirmations over and over while in the relaxed state. You can also state your affirmations in three different perspectives:

"I am perfect exactly the way I am" (telling yourself)

"She/He is perfect exactly as She/He is" (another person saying it to another person talking about you)

"You are perfect exactly the way you are" (another person saying it to you)

As you repeat your affirmation, from the three different perspectives, make sure you allow yourself to get a little excited about it. Imagine how you would feel if you overheard two people talking about you and saying that you are perfect exactly the way you are. You'd be walking twenty feet tall for the rest of the day! Allow yourself to feel the pleasure in these affirmations and this is how they will benefit you.

Polare is published in Australia by The Gender Centre Inc. which is funded by the Department of Community Services under the S.A.A.P. Program and supported by the N.S.W. Health Department through the AIDS and Infectious Diseases Branch. Polare provides a forum for discussion and debate on gender issues. Advertisers are advised that all advertising is their responsibility under the Trade Practices Act. Unsolicited contributions are welcome, though no guarantee is made by the Editor that they will be published, nor any discussion entered into. The editor reserves the right to edit such contributions without notification. Any submission which appears in Polare may be published on our internet site. Opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, The Gender Centre Inc.I, the Department of Community Services or the N.S.W. Department of Health.