Counsellor's Column

by Gaye Stubbs

(The Gender Centre advise that this article may not be current and as such certain content, including but not limited to persons, contact details and dates may not apply. Where legal authority or medical related matters are cited, responsibility lies with the reader to obtain the most current relevant legal authority and/or medical publication.)

Greetings to you for 2008 and, if you're pausing for Easter, I hope it's a good one.

For this issue of Polare I would like to make some comments about the internet in relation to my counselling experience.

Firstly, the internet provides us with limitless sites to visit and an opportunity to inform others and ourselves. It also provides us with the means to mislead others and distance ourselves from our fellow humans. When searching for information, or making connections with people, the internet can provide a rewarding experience for the seeker. On the other hand, when reading potential scam emails or being obliged to access a particular site to read instructions or complete a form, for instance, the internet may become an annoyance and the tasks carried out impersonal and tedious ones.

What about the information accessed - its merit? What about the connections made? I ask these questions not to undermine the usefulness of the internet, but to pass on my observations that sometimes the volume of information, which is sometimes misinformation, can be overwhelming to people who are trying to figure out what to do next with their lives. Talking to an internet friend maybe helpful when it is not possible to talk with friends in person, or when it's not possible to confide in these friends - it can be a life-line. Most of the time, however, we live in the "non-internet" world and human face-to-face contact is a part of this world.

It is my view that if we function primarily in the "internet world", life passes us by. If the internet is a facilitator for human contact, then it's an enabler, a medium of communication but if it's replacing human contact (hearing the tone of someone's voice, seeing someone's expressions, perhaps the touch of someone's hand, then I'm not sure what it is - it subsumes us. An eerily prescient world in which humans are distanced from nature and one another - even their own senses, is described by E.M. Forster in his short story "The Machine Stops " (1909). In an exchange between a mother and child, the child says:

"I want to see you not through the Machine, "said Kuno." I want to speak to you not through the wearisome Machine." "Oh hush!" said his mother, vaguely shocked. "You mustn't say anything against the Machine."

And what about the volume and quality of "information" available from the modern internet? The onus is on the seeker to evaluate its merit, its accuracy, and to decide when an opinion is being offered as opposed to a fact. And that can be difficult as sometimes opinions and unsubstantiated "research" are presented as fact. As free thinkers, we have the option to accept or decline information and opinions. But do we always have the means to do so?

As for accessing information in relation to deciding on a course of action, in particular life-changing or affirming surgery, the comments of a guest speaker to a former counselling group come to mind:

What is the agenda of the person offering the "information" or advice? Has the person imparting the information or opinion a personal investment in it (a belief in helping others, validation of a choice made, a financial interest in advocating a particular service or person, disappointment with a decision made, sheer malice)? And what is the authority and / or experience of the person offering the opinion or information? And what questions do you need to ask yourself? What outcome do you want? What is important to you? What support do you have? What is your financial situation?

You may seek counselling to wade through your information overload and work out how the information accessed from the internet best suits you and your hopes for yourself and your future.

If you're not comfortable with formal counselling, there may be someone in your family or in your community whom you trust (to keep your confidence, to make sound decisions, to respect your decisions) to talk over the information you come across in relation to your thoughts about your future.

So if you're exploring the internet but feeling unsure, overloaded, or maybe you're not able to work the 'net and feeling left out and lacking information, reach out - connect in person (my suggestion).

N.B. Although the spell check told me to capitalise the word "internet" (as it is a noun referring to a complex device), I have chosen not to as it is my opinion that it gives the device! the machine more power than it needs.

Polare is published in Australia by The Gender Centre Inc. which is funded by the Department of Community Services under the S.A.A.P. Program and supported by the N.S.W. Health Department through the AIDS and Infectious Diseases Branch. Polare provides a forum for discussion and debate on gender issues. Advertisers are advised that all advertising is their responsibility under the Trade Practices Act. Unsolicited contributions are welcome, though no guarantee is made by the Editor that they will be published, nor any discussion entered into. The editor reserves the right to edit such contributions without notification. Any submission which appears in Polare may be published on our internet site. Opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor, The Gender Centre Inc.I, the Department of Community Services or the N.S.W. Department of Health.