Rose's Progress and Her Foundation

by Jennifer Susan Lovelace

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Once upon a time there was a lonely little girl. Nobody, even her at first, knew that she was a girl. Rose, of course, was born into the body of a boy.

When I first met Rose we were at a Brisbane Seahorse get together in a cafe in West End. She was then more obviously the rough, gruff, severely male-mucho trannie that most of us never were even though we all start out with at least some degree of unwanted masculinity before the women within us comes out. Many T-girls and others have found Rose confronting. This is changing.

Unlike most of us Seahorse girls, Rose was pretty sure she wanted to fully transition through G.R.S. into a totally female life. Her name "Rose" reflects the elegant femineity her heart craves. The thorns are the pain she has suffered, and continues to suffer, as she progresses in her transformation. The bed of roses she is going for is both the inner fulfilment she increasingly feels as she transitions and the pleasure those of us who are close to her feel as we see her slowly breaking through her rough, tough shell of mucho masculinity into her own womanhood.

Appearance

Rose thinks she is as ugly as sin. She is definitely not! Hormones and mental self-feminisation are both changing her delightfully. Many women of her age, early fifties, look far more rugged, but Rose, who, like all of us, has an extremely feminine image of herself in her heart, finds it hard to see through her fears of ugliness into the way she really is - and is becoming.

Since she has been on hormones her body is changing. Rose is fortunate to have a full head of strong hair so, unlike too many of us girls, she has no need for a wig. Her skin is softening, her breasts are developing (yes, she boasts about them) and, slowly her posture and movement are changing - except when she loses it and reverts to "Hulk Mode".

It is obvious to me as both a clinician and as a former dancer and dance teacher, that Rose's body will become as feminine as most genetic women of her age. As she sorts out the external challenges of her life, she will be able to concentrate on more naturally feminising her posture, movement and voice - and her overall self-presentation.

Emotions

Rose, as a man, was sometimes violent. She has been a labourer and is now a working truck driver with the full, if bewildered, knowledge and support of her boss and (perhaps because the boss has said they have to!) of her workmates. The split between her necessary-for-income earning male life and her dream of living as the woman she is makes it extra hard for her to keep her cool. Rose is only just beginning to learn to be, and to keep her, cool. Although this is a natural part of her self-feminising process, her "cooling" is also a part of her rapidly developing emotional maturity. Like all of us, when we learn to think and care about the effects our behaviour has on others we become much nicer people.

Rose's delight in her changes, both physical and social, help her greatly to become more and more demure (though in no way effeminate) and without diminishing her expanding self-possessed independence.

In fact, Rose is now able to appear dressed in public both androgynously and as a woman without fear. She still works in male mode. However, her evermore feminine physical changes are attracting the attention of other truckies on the road. Knowing Rose, I doubt there is a truckie in Australia who would dare to abuse her - at least not to her face.

Progress

Watching Rose progress is a treat. It is hard for her. Her journey is longer than it is for most of us whether we are part-timers or full-timers ( cross-dressers or transsexuals for want of far better words!). Rose, like so many of us, has lost her marriage and her relationships with her somewhat dysfunctional family are often difficult. But behind all her relationships with her family is often a shared, if crippled, but real and enduring love.

Rose thinks she is dumb because she has had little formal education. This is rubbish though we can all understand her feelings. Rose is far more intelligent than average and she plans to use her intelligence. First she has created what she calls the Rose Thornton Foundation. Soon she will establish her "Trantel" or Transgender Motel, This is already a place where girls like us, full and part time, can go to learn the arts and skills of being the women we are by developing our posture, movement, voices, dress sense, make up skills, lifestyles and so on so that we can be and pass as ourselves as naturally as possible when we are out in the real world.

Part timers will also be helped to develop lifestyles in which they can comfortably switch their gender presentations with minimal practical and emotional fuss and stress. These "switching" skills are often necessarily developed, at least to some degree, by T-girls on the way to full transition.

Most T-girls have very small incomes. Liaising with Centrelink has enabled the beginnings of a plan that will make possible short to medium term residence for people who can get rent relief and other benefits.

Although being ourselves as gender diverse people is always painful in our world, Rose wants to help other T-girls to at least reduce the levels of pain she has suffered. Transition, she says, is no bed of roses! However the uniquely right end result for every T-girl is.

I am recording Rose's story as she progresses as a "Tranny Truckie" and we hope to use her story to give hope and confidence to other girls-like-us. Knowing Rose, as it is with so many other girls-like-us, is sometimes a real pain - and so often a real delight. In spite of our obvious differences we have many things in common.

Watching her grow is fascinating. Her journey is long and hard and but her story will be an inspiration to so many who will be where she has been.

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