My Story

One Wife's Perspective on Cross-Dressing

by Rachael Cook

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When my husband first told me about his need to cross-dress my first reaction was, "Just leave my things alone". That's was all I ever hoped to hear on the subject. I never expected it to become such a major factor in our lives. However, since we had no one in whom we could confide, we had to rely only on each other.

Needless to say, we had years of discussion where we went round and round in circles. But never did I say he could not cross-dress, and when I saw him, it bothered me that he didn't always look his best. So, as money and time permitted, we began getting Lucy shaped up.

During the beginning years, because there was very little information on the subject, and I kept trying to put my head in the sand hoping it would go away. I realised this was one issue that was not going away, and our discussion became a two way street.

I don't ever remember not being willing to discuss the subject. I just got tired of not having substantive answers. We had to find our own way, and it took a lot of years to find our comfort zone.

Even today, when I am tired, hungry or just suffering emotional tiredness and Lucy wants to emerge, my reaction will be "No". However, give me a little time or rest or eat and my whole perspective will change, and I will be a lot more receptive. As Don says, it is a matter of timing, and neither of us always gets it right.

Over all, I have come to enjoy Lucy, even if at times I wish we didn't have to deal with issues related to cross-dressing. But if there were a pill he could take to make it go away, I would not want him to take it, because it would mean a change in his personality, and I don't think I would like the person who would be left.

I really wish every wife and significant other, could become more open about cross-dressing issues with her Crossdresser, but I also understand that does not always happen. I can only suggest to cross-dressers, be open and above board and show your wife or significant other by example, that your cross-dressing is not a threat to her.

Find ways to make her realise that she is the number on female in your life. I know sometimes it is hard for a wife to understand, because she feels she should be the only female present in her husband's life. But we married most sensitive men, and without that sensitivity and understanding, we would not love you so much.

Crossdressers are truly special people, and I hope someday every wife and significant other will come to understand this.

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