My Story

by Belinda

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Iam a 42 year old who has been cross-dressing at different times since I was a young teenager. I remember wearing my mothers clothes whilst at school. Both Mom and Dad worked and I was an only child. Every afternoon I would come home from school and try on my mother's clothes.

It felt so wonderful but I was always worried about getting caught by my parents. I remember one Saturday night when they went out and I stayed home. As usual I changed into Mom's clothes and a little bit of make-up. Naturally, I did not have a wig at that stage. They came back about an hour later to collect something Mom needed.

That was the excuse but I now think they suspected something. Anyway, I would not let them in until I changed which took about 15 minutes. The dressing was hard to explain.

I don't really know why I started cross-dressing but I can not stop as it gives me so much pleasure. I am a loner who has not had many girlfriends although I have been married once. I think that was just to try to "be normal", however that did not work as I also started wearing my wife's clothes.

Eventually, the marriage failed mainly because I lost interest in sex. Over the last few years I have not had sex with any females and have started to explore other avenues for my sexual satisfaction.

I now find I am attracted to men whilst dressed as a woman. Perhaps the urge has always been there but has been suppressed all this time. I have had a few brief encounters but would love to meet someone for a lasting relationship. I live in hope.

I find women relate extremely well to cross-dressers and I have now a few "girlfriends" who accept who I am. I love having that freedom to express my feminine side which is gradually taking over my whole personality.

I have thought about seeing a doctor and starting hormone treatment. However, that is a big step and there is no turning back. To find and understand who I really am may require this first step. If that works physically and emotionally for me I would then hope to have gender realignment and become the total woman I have longed to be for so many years.

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