My Story

by Dennis / Denise

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I can remember looking in the mirror at Dennis over the years and having absolutely no idea who that reflection belonged to. It just wasn't me, I was lost!

My name is Dennis or Dennise depending on my persona at the time. My wife Madeline and I are the Coordinators for C.D. R.O.M. in Tauranga and the Bay of Plenty, New Zealand. C.D. R.O.M. - a New Zealand National caring support group for Cross/Transgender people, their partners and family.

Let me introduce ourselves. We have been married 25 years and have three grown up children. Like most of us, I started cross-dressing as a teenager back in the sixties with no one to talk to; it confused the hell out of me. I wasn't gay but felt better wearing ladies clothing - what was happening! Over the next 30 years I dressed in secret not telling Madeline, I felt guilty because of the lies, worthless and at times very depressed, too much society generated emotional garbage for any individual to carry around.

In 1994, a major incident happened, which really made me look at myself and for the first time I had to find out and be proud of who I really was. I can remember looking in the mirror at Dennis over the years and having absolutely no idea who that reflection belonged to. It just wasn't me, I was lost!

In 1997, we came across C.D. R.O.M. and with the groups support; I started my journey for the truth that would ultimately set me free. I told Madeline very gently and with her help we told our three children and my Mom and Dad, also selected friends. The general feeling with everyone concerned was relief. The barrier I had put up to hide behind which they had all felt, was down. If they couldn't under­stand my Cross/Transgender personality, they very much appreciated my honesty. On telling Michelle, our youngest daughter, of Denise, she offered me her pink outfit. Madeline was most put out that Michelle hadn't offered it to her. Michelle's comment "well Mom", I think it would look better on Dad". Free thinking children are just so accepting of honest parents, thank you Michelle. The first time I saw Denise in the mirror, I knew who that reflection belonged to. Dennise had completed the circle.

Today I balance myself as a person of two spirits. I work and earn a living as Dennis, I support my wife and family as Dennis, we all enjoy Dennis for the strong, caring, masculine looking person he is. But my leisure time is for Denise, that is who I would really rather be, feminine, spiritual and sensitive and because Madeline hasn't lost Dennis, she is so accepting and loving of Dennise.

Have fun with you Cross/transgender personality. Keep your whole world balanced. Cherish your supportive partner, family and friends. Don't become too vain and watch your feminine side transform you into the very special whole person you are.

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