A Dancer's Quest For True Self

by Mia Turner, Time Magazine, April 10th 1995

(The Gender Centre advise that this article may not be current and as such certain content, including but not limited to persons, contact details and dates may not apply. Where legal authority or medical related matters are cited, responsibility lies with the reader to obtain the most current relevant legal authority and/or medical publication.)

Jin Xing

In a country where individual choice is still a privilege, China's leading dancer, Jin Xing, continually tests the limits. At age nine, Jin begged his parents, an army officer and an interpreter, for permission to join the Shenyang Military Song and Dance troupe in northeastern Liaoning province. When they refused, he went on a hunger strike; after two days they relented. Years of grueling training took Jin to the top of China's ballet world and earned him a government scholarship to study in the U.S. ­the only Chinese dancer ever to do so.

Despite his success, Jin always kept secret something he feared made him too different. "Even as a child I dreamed of becoming a girl", he says. Now 28, China's Nureyev has decided to undergo a sex-change operation that will make his wish come true.

Jin's latest choice challenges the sexual and cultural mores of conservative Chinese society. As an adolescent, he was attracted to men, but because homosexuality is taboo, he instead put all his energy into his art. His 1988 - 93 stay abroad was a turning point. While honing his dance craft, he also explored his sexuality. "After a year, I realised I didn't fit into the gay community", he says. "I discovered I (was attracted to) men who like women."

Jin first met transsexuals while teaching modern dance in Europe and recognised what he now says is the truth of his own sexual identity. By the time he returned to China in 1993, he had made up his mind to become a woman. When his first Beijing performances - profound, complex and imbued with homosexual themes - received a warm reception, Jin finally felt ready to tell his family about his decision. As the only male heir on his father's side of the family, he was shocked to find them so supportive - and so unsurprised.

Likewise, the government has displayed unprecedented tolerance for his high-profile transformation. Ministry of culture officials recently visited him in the hospital to discuss future performances. "They think I'm a crazy artist, but they respect my work," he says. "By the time they left, they were calling me Miss Jin." A state television crew is even making a documentary. Jin hopes this publicity will help others grappling with uncertain sexual identities - Chinese hospitals have reportedly turned down most of the 3,000 requests for sex-change operations they received in the past six years. "As one person, I cannot change society," he muses. "But I warn people to know that nothing in life needs to be immutable. There is always a "maybe".

Jin has undergone the first two stages of the procedure, breast implants and facial hair removal, and this week will have the final eight-hour operation. He admits to being nervous but says, "The more I am forced to convince others, the more I convince myself that I am doing the right thing".

Editor: Please note, the inappropriate references to Jin in the male gender throughout this article is of the writers choice and does not reflect The Gender Centre's view.

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